Waiting...

This is Lori. I just want to start by saying that we can't even tell you how much your comments help us. Today is a full week that we've been here, and we're starting to feel it. We're still not completely adjusted to the time change yet (we tend to be fully awake often between 2-4 am), and just everything is different. So to know that you're thinking of us, and to hear familiar "voices" by computer really just brings us smiles and the extra lift we need to keep chugging away in this somewhat lonely place. We're realizing it's going to be a long month.

So what are we doing these days? We go each morning and spend 1-2 hours playing with Cole, have lunch and rest in the afternoon, and then go back and play about 4-6 p.m. Each time we go, we never know quite what to expect. We haven't made it twice every day, with trying to get everything put together--just the details of living--but I think that will make a difference. It's so hard to know what we're supposed to do sometimes. We do the things we think we should, but then there are also the "appearances" things we need to think about. Nataliya (Emma asked her last night how to spell it, and I've been doing it wrong) told us just this morning that for our court date, the judge will ask us what we've been doing with Cole, how we play, how often we visit and how long we stay, what we speak to him, and things like that. So that has me pondering. We obviously are here to do those things, of course, but it made me more aware that we need to be... aware...of perceptions of us.

It's also frustrating because they do things quite differently with him than we would. For example, every time they bring him out to see us, which is the little room right in front of his "area," they bundle him up in several layers--at least 3 every time. With a hat. He looks cute, but in 2 minutes, he's dripping, so we strip him down a bit to cool him off, but then when people come back and forth through the area we're in, they see him stripped down and they bundle him back up. So the perception dilemma--do we let him drip all over himself and us, or do we do what's better for him and cool him off to a more happy medium? It feels like this is kind of always where we live right now. It's hard.

We're working on helping him to see alsothat the snacks that we bring him are for him, that they're not going to disappear, so he doesn't need to eat 6 animal crackers at a time to finish the back ASAP. That was certainly to be expected, but learning the words in Russian for "chew" and other things was certainly necessary for slowing him down! But we're making some progress there, and I think he's starting to trust us more. He's been pretty good with making eye contact with us; he's even initiated it a few times, which has been great.

And then some days he comes out, takes one look at us, and starts to bawl. So it often feels like two steps forward, one step back. But there's always progress, and the other thing is you never know what fun he may have just been ripped away from, either. So we just go with it.

Sizes, many of you have asked. Hm. None of his clothes have tags, and most of them are too big anyway, at least the ones on the outside that we can find. Sleeves rolled up, that kind of thing, which is completely understandable. So we still have no real feel for how big this boy actually is because he's bundled up so much, he looks like the Stay Puff guy. :-) I'm guessing he's a 2T, maybe a 3T, but I'm not really sure yet. He has an impressive belly on him, though. :-)

Things he likes: tickles, cars, and spill and fill (dumping and then filling it back up, over and over and over and over....). Animal crackers, sippy cups minus the lid (yeah, those are just useful to spill and fill--never had to suck something out of a cup, but he's great with drinking out of a cup all by himself), and his Papa. When he gets a big grin, his tongue kind of curls up to the side, which is really cute. I told Trevor it's just like Katie Holmes, but he didn't get it... Cole and Daddy/Papa are getting along really well these days, which is fabulous. I think perhaps because he has so many female caregivers that at this point, I'm kind of just one more. That's fine; I get it. There are lots of things that are like that. The more we get into this, the more I see that this adjustment will really be a gradual thing and that we will have to not expect much of anything, just roll with it, and be glad when do make some progress.

Now here's a word from Emma. Emma, what do you want to say to our friends back home? "I love you. Cole is very happy with me. I'm a good big sister. I hope he has a great time with me when we spend time there and play. Thanks for writing to me!" (Yes, we do read to her the things that you all put in the comments for her.)

We have our court date on either the 25th or 26th--it's uncertain right now, and then it's a 10 business day wait after that, so more like 14 days. We'll be home mid-January, from the way it's looking. Not ideal, but what can you do? Pray. :-) We don't expect anything out of the ordinary, but if something like that DID happen, our own little Christmas miracle, we'd be very grateful.

We just found this internet cafe around the corner from our apartment, so we'll be able to check in a little bit more often and can even do email, so you want to send emails, you can; we just guarantee when we'll get back to you, but we will.

Love you and miss you all!!!!